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Poetry To Our Children

A Moment In Time

One moment in time,
I was in pain,
giving life to you,
smiling at my baby girl.

One moment in time,
you were toddling around
wondering about the big world around you,
calling me mama.

One moment in time,
I was a mother,
to a budding butterfly
just waiting to spread her wings.

One moment in time,
we were together,
laughing and playing,
and sometimes yelling and screaming.

One moment in time
you were here,
playing with your friends,
planning out your life.

One moment in time
you left me,
a broken heart,
that will never heal.

One moment in time,
a truck hit you,
and you went to God,
to be in his band of Angels.

One moment in time,
I don't know when,
but God will call me too,
and we will be together again...forever.

I miss you Theresa
Written by Veronica Kerperien-Robinson

Angel Nichole

©UNIcorn (Wendy Barbieri)
Written January 28, 1999

You're a Light in My Darkness
You're Part of My Soul
A Heart No Longer Beating
You're My Angel Nichole My Darlin' Daughter
Who I'll Never Know
Eleven Years Gone By
I Still Miss You So
I Hear You Laughing
I Can Feel Your Kiss
I Know You're Watching
There's Nothing You Miss
When I Am Crying
I Can Taste Your Tears
You Listen To The Feelings
No-One Else Hears
A Candle Is Lit
A Tear Wiped Away
I Still Think About You
Each Night and Each Day
I Never Will Know
Of God's Reason Why
But Inside You'll Be With Me
I Can't Say Good-Bye

You're a Special Little Spirit
Jean mommy to
Rebecca "Becca"
10/16/98 - 1/1/99

"You're a Special Little Spirit," the all great Master said,
As he gently caressed the beautiful red hair of the Little Spirit's head
"You need to go to Earth to spend some time, you know,
A place I send most Spirits to be tested, to learn, and grow."

The Little Spirit, in sadness, slowly bowed her head,
And from her eye a tear did steal and down her cheek it shed.
"Don't you fret now little one, I won't let you stay too long,
I'll bring you back to help me here, You'll hardly know that you've been gone.

You're my choicest Little Spirit, you're the apple of my eye."
And he wiped the tear and gently kissed His Little Spirit good-bye.
"I'm back," the Little Spirit whispered, as she climbed onto her Master's knee,
And the Master said, "I told you, you would not be long away from me."

And then, the Lord, He noticed still another tear welled in her eye.
"Why are you so sad, Little Spirit, whatever should make you cry?"
"I'm glad I'm back," the Little Spirit said, "but Master you must surely know,
When Your Angel came to get me, I did not want to go.

I know You said You needed me, and that I'd be gone the shortest while,
But Lord, couldn't I have had a little longer earthly trial?"
The Master let the Little Spirit slip down from off His knee,
He firmly took the little hand and said, "Come walk with Me."

The Little Spirit and the Lord slowly walked hand in hand,
As the Master explained her special part in the great and marvelous plan.
"Now, Lord, I don't mean to argue, I understand that you needed me home.
But I left in such a hurry, I left everyone hurting and so alone.

I didn't let my earthly parents know how much I loved them so.
I was too small to tell them Lord, how will they ever know?
They feel they've been cheated, and in a way, so do I.
Not getting to share any more than we did, how can I ever tell them why?"

"Little Spirit, I know your heart is heavy with this message you need to share.
But you need not worry anymore, I'll watch over your loved ones there.
I'll send them loving comfort as a strong and helping hand.
I'll contend and give peace to their aching hearts, so they will understand."

The Little Spirit looked up at her Master and said
"Thank You for explaining it to me.
And could you please tell them that I'm safe and happy, and that someday
They'll be here with me?"

"Yes," said the Lord with a smile and a nod, I'll tell them all that I can."
Then the others came to see the Little Spirit, as the Lord let go of her hand.
He said, "I'll tell them that you're pure, as pure as Heaven's Gold,
That I needed the warmth of your perfect soul to keep Heaven from getting cold"

In October
Jean mommy to
REBECCA "BECCA"
10/16/98 - 1/1/99

When all the leaves have changed
When they are falling to the ground
And the big day comes around
I will remember
How you came to me on that warm day

In October
When your birthday comes
When I am saddened
To think you are already gone
I will remember
The sweet sound of your first cry

In October
When I am over come with fear
When I become afraid to open my eyes
And face the day of your birth without you
I will remember
What it felt like to be your mother
Even if only for a little while

In October
When I feel the tears come
When I hide them and fight for a fake smile
So no one will know how very badly it hurts
I will remember
You, for who you were

In October
When I weep for you
When I think of how little time
You and I had to get to know one another
I will remember
That, for that little while, you were mine and I was yours

In October
When it becomes too much
When holding my head up is impossible
Because there are too many memories and too little time
I will remember
That you are happy and one day I will get the chance
to make up for all our lost time.

In October
I hope you have a birthday that
Brings you smiles and so much more, baby girl.
Even though I won't be there I will be thinking of you
the whole time. It may hurt and I may cry but I
promise that this hurt will never compare to the love
and joy I felt the day you were born. I just can't
believe that a whole year has gone by since that day.
What is even harder to believe is that you are already
gone by. I know that we would have planned you a
spectacular party, if only we had gotten the chance.
Happy birthday my daughter.
Mommy still remembers and always will.

Love always and Forever
Mommy

Joey
By Mary L. Johnson

I said, "I'll see you at dinner, Mom,"
and left the house,
making sure I didn't wake my dad,
being quite as a mouse.

I went to English tired,
and tried to stay awake.
The teacher kept tapping my desk,
he wouldn't give me a break.

I wrapped my arms around my Algebra book,
and tenderly thought,
about the Mother's Day Gift I had found,
the one that I hadn't yet bought.

I made my way to the cafeteria,
and sat by Nicole.
She never use to talk to me,
but with the politics of high school --
who knows.

I saw a kid named Joey,
walk in with a crowd.
I watched him pull his rifle,
and a few students hit the ground.

There were screams of terror,
and I could hear a few people pray.
I just looked at him for a second,
and not a word did I say.

He held the gun up to my head,
looking down at me he said,
"You're a Christian, right?"
I nodded. Bang. I was dead.

I went to my funeral today,
to see everyone one last time.
My mother couldn't stop weeping,
and they kept talking about the crime.

I just couldn't understand,
why we all had to die.
I couldn't find a reason,
but when I saw Joey,
I asked and he said, "Neither do I."

To Austin
By Mary L. Johnson

So helpless,
defenseless.
Against all the world.
So tired,
quiet.
Can't even hold my hand.

No one understands what it's like,
to hold that little one in your arms.
And know, deep down, beneath it all -
they might be early,
but they're God's greatest Charm.

I know you arived early,
but you are everything I'd hoped you would be.
And I love you,
little one,
with all my heart.
It's just you and me.

Against the world,
we can fight.
I will hold your hand,
and you will remind me how to laugh at the simple things in life.
Like breathing on my own,
being able to cry when I want someone to hold me.
Being able to go home with my parents.

I love you,
little one,
more then I could ever say.
And although you're very early,
I'm glad you decided to stay.

Stephanie April

At night
after I've done it all right
after I did all I could
for everyone who needs me
after the smiles I was forced to make
come off
and the weariness hits, and I'm all alone.
That's when I miss you the most.
That's when I stop thinking I can do it anymore.
That's when hope falters and
sadness fills my heart
with such astounding force,
it takes my breath away.
It's hard to believe the sun will be out in a few hours
And I'll move like I'm supposed to move
And make it look like I'm showing up
for this life
This life that took you too soon
and left me with the nights,
the horrible nights,
when I miss you the most.

Written by BrisaTrue ©2000

Tomato Soup


By Clarissa Stuart

In my mind, I stand at your pantry.
Red and white cans of tomato soup --
The only kind you like -- stand in a tidy row.
Not much more. It makes me sad.

Alexis cries - the dry wail of a newborn,
Hungry for her bottle and her mother’s arms.
Water boils, formula dissolves. Bottles and nipples
Do headstands in the dish-drainer next to the sink.

A tub of baby wipes sits next to the sofa.
Huggies. Very small ones, with a pink designs.
A bottle of rubbing alcohol and cotton swabs,
Baby lotion and powder. Their scents mix.

We talk as you dress her.
She spits up on her dress.
You scold her lovingly, without rancor,
And change her outfit.

She is quiet now, fed and comfortable,
Taking in her world with wide, black eyes.
I see the love in your eyes and your touch
Like the way I looked at and touched you . . .

A second picture forms:
Your finger on your baby’s face swirls away
Becoming you and me, huddled in our van
At Mt. Rainier, on a camping trip.

Rain had driven us from our tent.
I look into your face as you sleep and see
The pink-cheeked bit of sunshine you were
When you were 4 years old.

Suddenly, I hear you again --
Running up and down the hall --
Screeching with glee and
Playing with your siblings.

I find the note you left for me
When you had to go to bed
Before I got home: “Dear Mom,
Pleez cut the green peper in 21 slices.”

One day, years later, you bounced through the kitchen,
Popped a carrot stick in your mouth and announced,
“Oh, yeah. I got my period today” and vanished down the hall.
So self-contained, so accepting. I am still amazed.

A child no longer, I am forced to see
The beautiful woman who has taken your place.
I am simultaneously proud and bereft
As you leave home to make a life.

Suddenly I am thrust forward in time,
Back to your apartment.
I am leaving, returning home.
You are holding Alexis; I hold you both.

Instead of saying “goodbye”, I say,
“I’m afraid I’m never going to see you again.”
You say, “Oh, Mom. I’ll be fine.”
Reluctantly, I depart, still troubled.

Oh, Rachel . . . what would have happened if I’d given in?
If I had stayed with you longer?
Would you and Alexis still live?
The pain is relentless and abysmal.

I need to fix tomato soup for you.
I need to take you camping with me.
I need to hold Alexis and smell her sweetness.
I need you near me . . . so I can say I love you.

Clarissa Stuart's daughter, Rachel Kathleen Carlson, and granddaughter, Alexis Breann Stuart were murdered on April 24, 1996.

BABY, YOU MAY NOW SLEEP


There are times when I think I am strong
But there are times I know I am wrong
Telling myself that you are happy
But how can I when you are only a memory?

The tears are dried, the pain subsides
Laughter and smiles I cannot hide
For a moment, life is back to normal
But the truth hits and the pain unbearable

You are not going to be here
Your gurgles I cannot hear
I miss your gaze
Your smile is now just a haze

Again, the tears fall and the ache burns
Telling myself,
You are happy. You have returned.
Promise myself
I will be strong, I will not weep
Baby, you may now sleep...

This poem is written by Lilian Chan on June 12, 2002 in memory of her Little Hero, Vincent

Mommy's Wish


To my baby girl on her fifth birthday,
what is there to say?
So much time has passed,
yet the pain and questions still last.
What would you act like?
Oh, I bet you would be a sight!
A little girl with dark curls
starting school, and breaking all mommy and daddy's rules.
No doubt you are your daddy through and through!
Teasing us still playing peek-a-boo.
How tall would you be?
Tiny like me?
I sit and wonder everyday,
how you would be in every way!
From you nose to your toes and all in between.
Oh, what a sight unseen!
To my angel who holds my heart,
such a big rule you play in part.
I hope you see daddy and me,
keeping us safe and always happy!
Take care of all you see,
G-ma Organ,
Uncle Justin,
Great G-pa Organ and Great G-ma Spears,
and calm all of our fears.
No brother or sister's yet,
but soon I bet!
I hope the can stay and play,
and not see heaven on display.
I love you never question that,
I must go now, so many things to do.
But you know that, don't you?
Happy birthday!
Smile in every way!
Bye bye for now but not forever.
Written by Mommy (Tera Organ)
Delivered with love

Bless This Child


Though you weren't here long
You made many friends to take along.
On your joyous ride: to the other side.
Your mommy misses you a bunch
But you need not to worry because,
her friends are here when she misses you that much.
They are here to pick her up when she falls,
and when she cries.
They are a shoulder for her to cry on though I didn't know you;
I feel that we are best friends.
You don't know me either but,
you are up in heaven with my grandpa and I know he is watching over you!
I wish I could have held you but God had greater plans for you!
So have no fear, for your friends are here.
Some you know some you don't. But someday we will all be together.
As I write this note, I feel now I have a reason to gloat,
because I have talked to your mommy.
She is so proud.
So know this, we just ask bless this child.
So my dear friend I will see you someday.

Written with love by Alicha Long (my best friend)

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