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Denial

 
Beyond Silence and Denial
Death and Dying Reconsidered
By Lucy Bregman

Review
Bregman's response to "a new language for death and dying and grief" was prompted by a seminary student's rhetorical question: "Once you've said that death is natural, what more is there to say?" She largely embraces the death-awareness and hospice movements that have articulated the new language, in which "death is natural" is a commonplace. But that commonplaceness raises questions about its meaning and challenges Christian traditions that have long devoted attention to the supernatural. To show how Christian thought has been transformed by the new language, Bregman first sketches the histories of Christian attitudes toward death and dying and of the death-awareness and hospice movements in the U.S. She then discusses the interrelationship of the three, incidentally considering American misappropriation of Freudian language. Convinced that Christianity has a stake in the death-awareness movement, she argues that a Christian contribution to the movement should be grounded in a theology of the Cross and resurrection. She may leave readers convinced that there is more to say and that saying it will be of lasting importance.

 

Guilt

 
A Guide to Understanding Guilt During Bereavement
By Robert Baugher

Reviews
The first 18 pages of this 36-page booklet describe the guilt process, including 10 types of guilt that may occur during the bereavement process. The second 18 pages offer 17 suggestions for coping with guilt. This booklet won't tell you not to feel guilty. It is written to help bereaved people gain insight into their guilt feelings and to begin the process of moving beyond the heavy burden of guilt.

 

Survivor Guilt
By Aphrodite Matsakis

Reviews
Most people who survive a traumatic event feel guilty -- especially if other people were killed or severely injured. This breakthrough book, by a psychotherapist who specializes in PTSD, shows survivors step by step how to overcome chronic guilt and related psychological problems.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
The Victim's Guide to Healing and Recovery
By Raymond B. Flannery, Jr.

Reviews
Help for all victims of violence: the meaning of PTSD Yearly. Monthly. Daily. Hourly. Even as you read these words, somewhere someone has become a victim of violence. Victims of homicide, assault, rape, robbery, terrorism, car accidents, natural and man-made disasters - to cite a few.

These acts result in psychological trauma with its states of terror and fear, and symptoms that may include hypervigilence, exaggerated startle response, sleeplessness, and recurring intrusive memories of the event. Such events and their aftermath often lead to avoidance of the traumatic situation and withdrawal from other life activities as well. In time, psychological trauma becomes Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and the effects of PTSD, if left untreated, may last until death.

It need not be this way. There are good interventions that victims can utilize for themselves and with their therapists. For many years, my victim patients asked where they could learn more about PTSD. Since there was no book on the topic, I wrote this one so that the basic information about psychological trauma and PTSD would be available. Many victims and their therapists have found this book to be of remarkable help.

There is no need to suffer. It was not your fault. Learn about the aftermath of violence and what you can do about it. - The Author

I Can't Get over It
A Handbook for Trauma Survivors
By Aphrodite Matsakis

Reviews
I Can't Get Over It was written to guide survivors of crime, accidents, rape, family violence, and sexual abuse through the process of recovering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Now in an updated edition, this guide includes new information on suicide, traumatic memories, depression, guilt, and the new EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) technique.

Anger

 
Sit Down, God...I'm Angry
By R. F. Smith, Jr.

Reviews
Pastor R. F. Smith, in this personal account of the death of his son, admits his anger at God, relates the long journey of dealing with this anger, and details the process of making a pilgrimage to the place where he could live, work, and love again.

No Time for Goodbyes
Coping With Sorrow, Anger, and Injustice After a Tragic Death
By Janice Harris Lord, Eugene D. Wheeler (Editor)

Reviews
Offering hope and useful suggestions to those grieving the loss of a loved one, this guide provides outlets for feelings of grief, anger, frustration, and disappointment. It is devoted to the unique grief suffered by the families and friends of persons killed suddenly and violently. This book provides self-affirming skills of emotional expression that will help get survivors well again.

Depression

 
Loss: Sadness and Depression
(Attachment and Loss)
By John Bowlby

The Antidepressant Survival Program
How to Beat the Side Effects and Enhance the Benefits of Your Medication 
By Robert J. Hedaya 

Review
You or someone you love may be one of an estimated 25 million Americans currently taking antidepressants for a wide range of psychiatric and physical disorders. But there is a dark side to these "wonder drugs" --- punishing side effects such as weight gain, lethargy, and sexual dysfunction that afflict up to 80 percent of the people who take them. Until now, side effect sufferers have had nowhere to turn for help.

Loneliness

 

Fear

 

Panic Attacks

 
The Antidepressant Survival Program
How to Beat the Side Effects and Enhance the Benefits of Your Medication
By Robert J. Hedaya 

Review
You or someone you love may be one of an estimated 25 million Americans currently taking antidepressants for a wide range of psychiatric and physical disorders. But there is a dark side to these "wonder drugs" --- punishing side effects such as weight gain, lethargy, and sexual dysfunction that afflict up to 80 percent of the people who take them. Until now, side effect sufferers have had nowhere to turn for help.

Suicide

 
Suicide Survivors' Handbook.
A Guide to the Bereaved and Those Who Wish to Help Them.
By Trudy Carlson.

Review
"Trudy Carlson is a courageous woman. This book, written as a result of her son's suicide, demonstrated the transformative power of grief. It is the first book I would recommend to a survivor of life's worst nightmare--the death of a child by suicide. I learned so much from it. Although Carlson in no way minimizes the extraordinary grief a survivor experiences, she demonstrates how one can grow through adversity, and thus offers hope."

Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One
By Ann Smolin, John Guinan.

Review
The authors address the special needs and emotions of the survivors--those affected by the suicide of a loved one--explore the natural grief, and the added guilt, rage, and shame that dealing with a suicide often engenders. Includes a directory of worldwide support groups.

Suicide Survivors : A Guide for Those Left Behind
By Adina Wrobleski

Review
Another suicide survivor loaned me Adina Wrobleskis' book, Suicide: Survivors. I have not read all of the book yet, but have found the areas that I have read to contain information that illuminate some things and help me understand what I feel. I believe that anyone who has been affected from losing a loved one could find this book to offer some help during a very difficult time. The treatment of suicide is well done by considering it from a real perspective of someone who is experiencing life as a suicide survivor.

My Son...My Son
A Guide to Healing After Death, Loss, or Suicide
By Iris Bolton

Review
This well-written text was extremely helpful to me and my family during an incredibly difficult tragedy, the suicide death of a beloved son. Survivors need education as well as encouragement from someone like Ms. Bolton, who has truly been in our shoes. I have recommended this book to many bereaved, even those who have not been touched by suicide.

 

In the Wake of Suicide
Stories of the People Left Behind
By Alexander Victoria

Review
An excellent read for health care professionals, survivors of suicide and anyone seeking stories of human strength, Victoria Alexander offers a well organized collection of narratives from survivors of suicide. Raw in it's honesty, it offers hope of a future to the recently bereaved and a reference point for professionals and laypeople caring for those left behind. A survivor myself, it allowed me to address issues I had buried years earlier. A decade of collecting these touching, sometimes painful stories has allowed insight into a suffering that shame so often causes us to conceal.

Night Falls Fast Understanding Suicide
By Kay R. Jamison

Review
"Suicide is a particularly awful way to die: the mental suffering leading up to it is usually prolonged, intense, and unpalliated," writes Kay Redfield Jamison. "There is no morphine equivalent to ease the acute pain, and death not uncommonly is violent and grisly." Jamison has studied manic-depressive illness and suicide both professionally--and personally. She first planned her own suicide at 17; she attempted to carry it out at 28. Now professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, she explores the complex psychology of suicide, especially in people younger than 40: why it occurs, why it is one of our most significant health problems, and how it can be prevented. Jamison discusses manic-depression, suicide in different cultures and eras, suicide notes (they "promise more than they deliver"), methods, preventive treatments, and the devastating effects on loved ones. She explores what type of person commits suicide, and why, and when. She illustrates her points with detailed anecdotes about people who have attempted or committed suicide, some famous, some ordinary, many of them young. Not easy reading, either in subject or style, but you'll understand suicide better and be jolted by the intensity of depression that drives young people to it.

Why-Suicide?
By Eric Marcus

Amazon does not offer this book.

Life After Suicide
A Ray of Hope for Those Left Behind
By E. Betsy Ross

Review
The book starts with stories about what it is like to be a survivor of the suicide of someone you love. But it goes much further. It is a self-help guide to recovery for the survivor, a handbook for anyone who cares about helping someone else, and a resource for professionals who work with bereaved survivors in health care, education, religious institutions, and the workplace. It can also serve as a college textbook for classes dealing with loss, grief, and bereavement in general as well as after a suicide.

Besides covering the immediate aftermath of the suicide, the book helps to understand both the many aspects of the situation leading up to the suicide and the complicated process of recovery. It touches on such topics as addiction, abuse, neglect, and depression, as well as self-examination, spirituality and personal growth.

It has many practical suggestions about what to do and not to do, what to say and not to say,  how to help oneself, how to help children, etc.

When Our "Angel" Visits

 
Childlight
How Children Reach Out To Their Parents From the Beyond
By Donna Theisen and Dary Matera

Dreaming Kevin
The Path To Healing
By Carla Blowey

Sleeping/Not Sleeping

 
Sleeping Problems: Learning to Sleep Well Again
By Dietrich Langen

All I Want Is a Good Night's Sleep
By Sonia Ancoli-Israel.

Review
This easy-to-read, informative book clearly explains common problems associated with sleep and strategies for dealing with them. It defines normal sleep patterns and methods used to diagnose disorders. Common disorders are explained, including those affecting children and older adults. Drugs and clinical treatment of serious disorders are covered.

 

Get a Good Night's Sleep
By Katherine A. Albert

Review
One of the world's leading experts on sleep disorders provides a collection of proven safe and sensible solutions for insomnia and other sleep-related problems that literally keep millions up at night.

The Sandman
A Little Book With a Promise to Keep: Rest, Relaxation, & a Good Night's Sleep
By Keith Floyd

Review
THE SANDMAN is a singularly soporific bedtime story based on a systematic unfolding of progressive relaxation suggestions interwoven with the timeless Sandman theme. Equally comforting whether read quietly to oneself or aloud to a loved one, the story evokes a relaxing world of magical sand, miniature bulldozers, lapping waves and, best of all, restful sleep. Happily it turns out that children and grown-ups are equally smitten by Sandman's charms.

Secrets of a Good Night's Sleep
By John Selby

Review
If you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, you're not alone. Almost one-third of the adult population shares your problem. Now John Selby, a clinical psychologist who has helped hundreds of insomniacs-including himself-gives you his Secrets of a God Night's Sleep. You'll discover some fascinating facts about sleep, why it becomes a problem, and how you can overcome those sleepless nights. Learn: Why you lie awake when you long for sleep Why you wake up in the middle of the night The surprising sexual dimensions of sleep How to break the anxiety/worry habit How to adjust your bed for total relaxation Magic bedtime rituals to induce sleep Fabulous fantasies and techniques to put you in dreamland and much, much more!

Moms vs. Dads

 
Families Are Forever
By Karen Garnier

Review
An intimate look into the life of a family dealing with the terminal illness and death of a child, and how their faith helped them cope with the pain and challenges brought on by this tragedy. Told by the child's mother based on her journals kept throughout the ordeal, this is a poignant account of emotional turmoil and faith.

Help Your Marriage Survive the Death of a Child
By By Paul C. Rosenblatt

Review
Many parents who have experienced the death of a child struggle with painful and at times almost overwhelming marital problems. Grieving can create great marital distance, and it can magnity couple problems that existed before the child died. Grieving parents often fear that they will divorce. Most books that have been written to help grieving parents focus on individual, personal grief. This book focusses on the couple relationship. Based on intensive interviews of 29 couples who experienced the death of a child, the book offers perspectives, insights, powerful and moving interview quotes, and advice dealing with common marital problems experienced by bereaved parents. Commonly the problems are connected to couple communication, differences in grieving and how those differences are interpreted, sexuality, parenting of other children, the use of alcohol and drugs, blaming, differences about whether to have another child, differences in whether to go outside the marriage for support, and what to do with things and spaces that were the child's. This book discusses hard realities but offers a message of hope. Grieving parents can and do overcome marital difficulties and achieve a strong and loving marriage based on resepect for differences, mutual understanding, and their shared history.

Our Other Children

 
This Book Is For All Kids, But Especially My Sister, Libby. Libby Died
By Jack Simon, Annette Simon
Review
'Libby Died' is a surprisingly moving book, one that should provide comfort to children caught up in the grieving process
35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child
By The Dougy Center for Grieving Child
Review
If you know a child who has experienced the death of a mother, father, caregiver, sister, brother, or friend, you may have wondered how you can help. The thousands of grieving children and teens at The Dougy Center have taught us a lot about what does and doesn't help them. We also hear many caring parents, teachers, and adult caregivers who want to support children who are grieving but aren't sure how to go about it. In response to that concern, we've gathered together the most important stuff we've learned from the kids, and the result is this guidebook. The information in these pages is simple and practical and is drawn from the stories of the children and teenagers who have been on the front lines of grief. This guidebook addresses how to include children in decision making, what to expect from different ages of grieving children, and how to provide safe outlets for children to express emotion.

Children Grieve, Too
A Book for Families Who Have Experienced a Death
By Joy Johnson, Marvin Johnson

Review
Gives needed information to those who work with grieving children. Basic, reader friendly, and talks about what you really need to know and how children respond to grief from infancy to teen.

After the Funeral
By Jane Loretta Winsch, Pamela T. Keating (Illustrator)
Reading level: Ages 4-8

Review
This book is a positive contribution that will help children and their families move forward towards acceptance, understanding, and hope.

The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide
By Helen Fitzgerald

Review
Explaining death to a child is one of the most difficult tasks a parent or other relative faces. The Grieving Child now provides much-needed guidance, covering such areas as visiting the seriously ill or dying, especially difficult situations, including suicide and murder, attending a funeral, and the role religion can play.

Daddy's Promise
By Cindy Klein Cohen, John T. Heiney, Michael J. Gordon
Reading level: Ages 4-8

Review
Daddy's Promise is about a little boy's journey of discovery after the death of his father. Jesse is angry and filled with questions. Why did his daddy have to die? What happens when someone dies? Where do they go? Jesse's questions are answered both by his mother, and in a series of dreams where Jesse visits his father and learns about life, death and life after death.  Daddy's Promise answers common questions children have about death, as well as suggestions for coping

Helping Children Cope With the Loss of a Loved One
A Guide for Grownups
By William C. Kroen, Pamela Espeland (Editor)

Review
Dr. William Kroen offers sound advice, comfort and compassion to any adult helping a child cope with death. Weaving in anecdotes about real children and their families, he explains how children from infancy through age 18 perceive and react to death and offers suggestions for how to respond to children at different ages and stages. Specific strategies are offered to guide and support them through the grieving process.

Good Days/Bad Days

 

Hey! What About The Dads?

 
Men and Grief
A Guide for Men Surviving the Death of a Loved One
By Carol Staudacher
Review
"Men and Grief" is an insightful and thought-provoking look at the problems men face as they experience the emotionally painful times of their lives.

 

A Grief Unveiled
One Father's Journey Through the Loss of a Child
By Gregory Floyd & Thomas Howard
Review
Gregory Floyd has written the book that no parent ever wants to be in a position to read. In 194 autobiographical pages, Mr. Floyd tells of his heart-wrenching journey through despair after the loss of his 6-year-old son. He envelopes the reader in his pain but amazingly is also able to share moments of grace along his journey. A father of seven and a student of theology, Mr. Floyd opens his soul and outwardly struggles with questions about the goodness of God . . . The reader of this enlightening book cannot help but be moved by such a powerful journey.

 

Only Spring
On Mourning the Death of My Son
By Gordon Livingston, M.D., Mark Helprin
Review
Gordon Livingston introduces this brutally honest diary as the story of the life and death of his son. It is that, focusing on Livingston's experience of losing his six-year-old son, Lucas, to leukemia; it is also an account of a process of mourning permeated by his gradual realization that "love is not lost even in death." The book focuses almost entirely on the experience of Lucas' death, but the suicide of Livingston's oldest son, Andrew, the previous year, is never far below the surface.

Grandparents Grief

 

Grandma's Tears
Comfort for Grieving Grandparents
By June Cerza Kolf
Review
Grandparents are often overlooked when a grandchild dies, yet they carry a double burden--the loss of their grandchild and the sorrow of their own grieving children. Author Kolf offers support and hope in brief chapters that do not overwhelm the bereaved. She intertwines practical strategies for surviving grief with first-person accounts from grandparents.

 

When a Grandchild Dies
What to Do, What to Say, How to Cope
By Nadine Galinsky
Review
The death of a grandchild is one of life's most heart-wrenching experiences. You not only grieve loss that is "out of the order of things," but you see your own child suffering and feel powerless to help. Friends and family are often focused on the feelings of your bereaved child, so your own grief may be misunderstood and minimized.

After losing two children of her own, Nadine Galinsky discovered that while support was available for bereaved parents, few resources existed for grandparents.

 

Getting Help

 
The Journey Through Grief
Reflections on Healing
By Alan D. Wolfelt
Review
This is a self help journaling book that will help you to understand, work through, and write about your bereavement. Highly recommended to give to people who have had a loss and are having difficulty.

Dear Parents
Letters to Bereaved Parents
By Joy Johnson
Review
A collection of letters to bereaved parents written by bereaved parents and well-known leaders in the bereavement field. This is a support group in book form. Makes a wonderful gift to newly bereaved families.

Sweet Memories
By Elaine E. Stillwell & Joy Johnson
Review
For children and adults. . . to create healing and loving memories for Holidays and Other Special Days. Includes activities and crafts for creating a Photo Collage, Brag Book, Love Copies, Treasure Chest, Nature Basket and more. Elaine lives in Rockville Center, New York. She and her husband, Joe founded the Rockville Center Chapter of The Compassionate Friends, a national self-help organization for bereaved siblings and parents. After her own experiences with grief she became active in helping other bereaved parents.

 

Religion

 
Talking to Heaven
A Medium's Message of Life After Death
By James Van Praagh

Review
James Van Praagh is a nationally recognized medium, a frequent guest on television shows who has a two-year waiting list for personal appointments. But now he sets forth on the page his unique insights into the world beyond. Van Praagh's ability to bridge the gap between the physical and spiritual worlds was something he came to terms with slowly. By the time he reached his twenties he finally accepted the fact that he could provide proof of life after death by relaying specific messages.
Reaching to Heaven
A Spiritual Journey Through Life and Death
By James Van Praagh

Review
Professional medium James Van Praagh offers a guidebook for the living, which charts the course of the soul as it journeys through life, death, and rebirth. Beyond his psychic gifts, Van Praagh has a gift for simplifying complex spiritual ideas and writing about them in a conversational tone. Most appealing for Van Praagh fans are his detailed theories on death and the afterlife. For example, when people die sudden deaths, Van Praagh reports, spirits of the dead often linger over their bodies, unable to comprehend what has happened (but still able to see and hear everything that is being done and said around the corpse). This is why spirits of the already-deceased are so useful in helping the dead transition to the other side.

Sit Down, God...I'm Angry
By R. F. Smith, Jr.
Review
Pastor R. F. Smith, in this personal account of the death of his son, admits his anger at God, relates the long journey of dealing with this anger, and details the process of making a pilgrimage to the place where he could live, work, and love again.
 

Acceptance

 

When Is It Okay?

 

After the Darkest Hour the Sun Will Shine Again
A Parent's Guide to Coping With the Loss of a Child
By Elizabeth Mehren and Harold Kushner

Review
This inspiring guide to coping with the loss of a child combines the author's own story with the experiences and wisdom of others who have gone through this tragedy.
After the Death of a Child
Living With Loss Through the Years
By Ann K. Finkbeiner

Review
A book that explores our own resilience in the midst of one of the most distressful forms of human suffering, the death of a child. Because children aren't supposed to die, the loss is not only painful but profoundly disorienting. Finkbeiner, whose only child died in 1987, refers to her own experience and the experience of others to show that while bereaved parents can never really let go, they can and do recover, often developing a new appreciation for their own lives. Says one parent: "You just don't treat life as lightly, and if you don't treat things lightly, they do become richer."
How to Survive the Loss of a Child
Filling the Emptiness and Rebuilding Your Life
By Catherine Sanders

Review
Parents who suffer the death of a child must endure excruciating grief, and they often need help to reach the final stage of healing and renewal. Writing from personal experience and with professional expertise, Dr. Catherine M. Sanders provides a healing guide for one of life's most devastating experiences. Dr. Sanders explains the grieving process with compassion and insight. She also advises other family members and friends in how to assist the grieving parents and to cope with their own sense of loss.
 

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Changes last made on: Wed Jul 01, 2009